Now that Osama is dead ...

• Our housing market will make a miracle recovery and the dip will be like a bad dream.
• The spill in the gulf will get cleaned automatically.
• The devastation in Japan will be reversed.
• Gadaffi will peacefully agree to stop the war in Libya.
• The unemployment rate will drop by a couple of points.
• Goldman Sachs will turn into a non-profit organization.
• The defunct color coded security alerts will be replaced with three popular ringtones.
• Obama's long form birth certificate will be converted into a stamp.
• The obesity endemic will get curbed.
• Our schools will finally realize that sacking teachers is a dumb idea.
• Our medical system will be rated the best in the world and insurance will wind down their medical division.
• China agrees to write off our debts and our deficit becomes a surplus overnight.
• All lobbying by special interests will grind to a halt.
• We will all get special gas refunds from the oil companies (need to prove mileage though).
• Malaria will not kill children anymore.
• We all get special OBL tax credits from the IRS next year.
• Global warming will get a few degrees cooler.
• Obama will challenge Donald Trump to prove that his hair is for real.