Why the Apocalypse never happened

An apocalypse committee was setup in after-life to ensure the RED button was pressed on May 21st at the precise moment. As part of preparation for receiving millions of people, the committee solicited questions from us humans. This is a sampling of questions received by the committee:-

• Can I get an iPad there ?
• Is it left-hand driving or right-hand?
• Can I transfer my club sport membership or is it mainly 24 hour Fitness ?
• Can I get a 25 grain bread with a butter top ?
• Is it a startup friendly environment ?
• Do they accept traveler's checks ?
• What do they use instead of Facebook ?
• Where do I post my resume ?
• Do we need to file taxes ?
• Is it mainly Mac or PCs ?
• Can I carry my allergy medicines ?
• Can I watch the Oprah shows ?
• What charities can I contribute to (to get tax exemptions) ?
• Can I transfer my Groupon deals ?
• Do I need mosquito repellents ?
• Is my insurance going to be still valid ?
• What are the rates for a 30-year mortgage?
• Can I get non-lactose milk ?
• Can I buy Facebook stock there ?
• Do they have HBO ?
• Do they have counselling services ?
• Who plays in the world series ?
• Can I continue my Atkins diet ?
• Hope they have a Starbucks ?
• Can I transfer my AT&T service and can I now get unlimited data plans at least?
• Can I continue to get unemployment benefits?
• Do they have private schools ? Where can I get the school API ratings?
• (From the White House) When is the next presidential election and who is running ?

Reading the list of questions, half of the committee was dumbstruck and the other half fell off their seats rolling with laughter. In the midst of all this, the deadline to press the 'RED' button passed and so the apocalypse never happened.