Unity

Someone told us that our neighborhood was being attacked
The neighbors got together and fought to protect our neighborhood

Then someone told us that our state was being attacked
The cities got together and fought to protect our state

Then someone told us that our country was being attacked
The states got together and fought to protect our country

Then someone told us that our religion was being attacked
The countries got together and fought to protect our religion

When will we all realize that all humanity is being attacked

So that all humanity gets together and fights nothing

Risks

If you aim for the sky, you risk falling to the chimney pot
But if you only aim for the chimney pot, you risk missing the sky

If you aim to face an audience, you risk being booed 
But if you only aim to be the audience, you risk never being applauded

If you brave the roller coaster, you risk freaking out
Bit if you skip the roller coaster, you risk always being in doubt

If you defy authority, you risk being reprimanded
But if you give in to authority, you risk status quo

If you aim to quit your job, you risk looking for another one
But if you stay in your job, you risk missing out on a home run

If you embrace some risks, you risk the risks that it’ll bring
But if you avoid all risks, you risk not doing anything 

How geeks challenge wisdom

We’re all created unique
But what key are we indexed on and what is my unique index value?

They say we are moulded by nature and nurture
Now, is that a compile time  or run time?

You have to be a good father, good son, good spouse, good worker, good boss, good citizen, good neighbor
Is there a way to cache goodness for optimization?

Marriages are made in heaven
Who does the UAT though?

Study, work hard, save money and then enjoy
Can we parallel process that?

Live like there is no tomorrow
So, null pointer exceptions are ok?

As you sow so shall you reap
Is that a synchronous or asynchronous  process?

Try and try till you succeed
What, infinite loops?

Birth, baby, toddler, child, youth, teen, adult, middle age, old age, death
Sounds pretty waterfall to me. Can we go agile?

We’re all created equal 
Now, what happened to that unique index key?

Sweet Temptations

It was Monday morning and the traffic crawled back to back
With cars like matchboxes in a stack

On my left was the car pool lane
With cars zipping past without a pain

To move to this lane would have been sweet
To zip past the others would have been a real treat

But I didn’t and just stuck to my sorry state
Whining that for the 9 am I would be late

Before you praise my love for the law
And hold my good citizen virtues in awe

Let me also tell you about a cop car that I noticed from far
But which ended up being just another beaten down black and white car

Oh, to move to the car pool lane would have been so sweet

My Hammer and my Chisel

Looking back at the day spent helping build a house at Habitat for Humanity...

It was 9 am and I put on my hard hat
Away from my  laptop and no monitor to look at
Just my hammer and my chisel

No early morning meetings to attend
No status reports to send
Just my hammer and my chisel

No thinking through a new strategy
No white board session fantasy
Just my hammer and my chisel

No client presentations to mend
No design documents to defend
Just my hammer and my chisel

No chasing the performance holy grail
No career ladders to scale
Just my hammer and my chisel

No breaking for a workout
No sitting at my seat throughout
Just my hammer and my chisel

No operational plans to make
No client deadlines to keep me awake
Just my hammer and my chisel

No murmur about the billions that Facebook did pour
Or that Google was ready to pay even more
Just my hammer and my chisel 

Click - The Shoot

(Some ramblings about the 4 day shoot for the movie 'Click'

In came the camera, the lights and the boom

And the props and the crew that followed soon 

Around me rose a temporary world of reality

Reminding me so much of my own mortality

Scene, shot, take and the clap

The DP's camera caught moments in a trap

With the sounds that were picked up by the boom

Everyone had the smarts to be quiet in the room

With the Tungsten in all it's might

Daylight trickled through the night

Then there was the tape named gaffer

To make our shoot a lot less rougher

The camera fell in love with Ray

And Quinn showed his magic in his own cute way

With takes and retakes and yet another take

This was one hell of a movie in the make

The logger logged every take with care

While continuity knew what went where

When the DP called out 'SSD Full'

Backup had a new one with a magic that he did pull

With makeup as it's own art form

It could make your face cold or warm

Behind the scenes, with moves that were quick

A camera did click the making of Click

And when our feelings turned low,

There came the tea, the snacks and some divine food in tow

But when the yawns were oft, we longed for a hint

That the Director would utter 'Print'

With the lights off and the camera eyes shut

Why am I longing to hear another 'cut'?

But hey AD, for once you need not fret

For today, everything is indeed quiet on the set!

Stay Thirsty!

You'll want a mansion

But let them take away your job and you don't care about that mansion anymore

You'll want a job 

But let them take away your family and you don't care about that job or mansion anymore

You'll want a family

But let them take away your health and you don't care about family, job or mansion anymore

You'll want a good health

But let them take away your food and you don't care about health, family, job or mansion anymore

You'll want food

But let them take away your water and you don't care about food, health, family, job or mansion anymore

Stay thirsty my friend!

You'll Love Till..

You'll love your work

Till you work to get a promotion

You'll love your child's play

Then you want him to play to win

You'll love to write 

Till you write to win the Pulitzer

You'll love to sing 

Till you sing to win the Karaoke

You'll love to code 

Till you code to meet a deadline

You'll love to eat 

Till you eat for the calories

You'll love your drive to work

Till you drive to rush to work

You'll love to love 

Till you love to get love

You'll love to drink beer.

Till…well you'll always love beer. Have no fear!

Rishabh turns 8 this week

Rishabh turned 8 this week
And his happiness is at its peak
There is a lot that makes me glad
While a cake is being cut by my little lad

Am I glad that before he turned one
He was spared the baby snatch
While another unlucky 1 year old became the predator's catch ?

Am I glad that before he turned two
He was always guarded round the clock
Unlike the unguarded toddler who reached the edge of a pool while on a walk ?

Am I glad that before he turned three
All he got was love and trust
While some other 3 year old became a victim of someone's lust ?

Am I glad that before he turned four
The picnic bus reached him home safe and sound
Unlike the the bus of another 4 year that was destined to be drowned ?

Am I glad that before he turned five
He had his fill of the carousel ride
While some other 5 year old went on a ride that came untied ?

Am I glad that before he turned six
For his ailments, insurance had him covered
Unlike the uninsured 6 year old, whose tumor they had just discovered ?

Am I glad that before he turned seven
Bullying was not something he had to face
Unlike the bullied 7 year old who ended it all in disgrace ?

Am I glad that before he turned eight
He didn't have to face the nozzle of a Glock
Of a shooter who decided to spend his bullets in a school ad-hoc ?

So, my dear son, as you celebrate your birthday,
From the bottom of my heart, this I must say,

It doesn't matter if you didn't get a perfect score
And it doesn't matter if you didn't get more medals than the boy next door

It doesn't matter what you achieve as you move from a boy to man
And it doesn't matter if you don't do the best you can

All that matters is that we wake up each morning to your heart beat
For being eight itself was such a feat!

Hey Smartphone

Had I not been busy checking emails on my phone

I would have noticed that the person who prepared my sandwich was Kyle

And tired she looked but was always so eager to smile

Had I not been punching away yet another text message on my phone 

I would have noticed that the rain had brought out the best in the trees 

And the little puddles of water on the street looked like holes in a swiss cheese

Had I not been occupied refreshing Facebook statuses on my phone 

I would have noticed that my son was trying to climb a slippery slope

And his quest in the park had now lost patience, energy and hope

Had I not been distracted by the red badge icons on my phone

The book in my hand would have got me into the author's mind 

And created the characters in my imagination as the author designed 

Had I not been struggling with my phone to capture the perfect sunset

The grand choreography of nature would not have missed my wonder

And before I could fathom its depth, the sun would not have gone under

Had I not been busy browsing through my Netflix queue on my phone

I would have realized that the movie that was on just before bedtime

Was not a comedy but infact a movie on war crime

Happy Friday !

I wished I was happily romping about in my little heaven
With the grass tickling my feet and guiding my gait
But this was not another pleasant walk
For there was somebody I was running from
He was eager to catch me while I was desperate to evade him.
I turned left, he turned left
I turned right, he turned right
Finally, he tired me out and I found myself in his claws
I saw my last moment and heard my own last breath
He stripped me off my skin and my dignity
My flesh cooked in the high heat and I knew it was what hell was like
To rub it in, he coated me so I looked like a mummy.
And as he put me on a platter for someone with a twinkle in his eyes
I knew I was bound for the same fate as everyone before me.
But unlike those who passed before me
I was treated with a lot more respect
I heard clapping and I heard cheering.
I meant something and not just for the tongue.
I was going to change the world and the world was going to embrace me.
The whole world was watching me for I proudly represented everything they stood for
For I was the Chick-A-Fil chicken.
Cuck-doo-coo - Happy Friday !

Facebook Prayer

To all of us who like to share

And lay our innermost feelings bare

Here is a Facebook prayer

   

Thank you for revealing the power of my thumb

To express my feeling while staying mum

Such is the power of the Like 

I can even do it on my exercise bike  

Thank you for all the beautiful comments that make my day

Everyone  seems so close albeit they are far away.

When comments get comments on the comment's comment.

Nothing can beat the energy of that moment.

I am blessed to be surprised by these friend requests that I receive

You'll pardon me for those that I ignore I believe

To find friend requests waiting means a lot 

Sometimes on a dry day, that's all I have got.

I am blessed  that I can share pictures with my friends all right

I am sure they're excited to see what I ate for dinner last night

Through the photos , back to the school days I can trace 

Just don't get me tagged on a picture from my pimple days

It is your powers which let me update my status on a whim

Although I didn't mean to send out the one working out in the gym.

Thanks to all the continuous updates in my feed 

I also can now  speed read

Thank you for the ever flowing timeline

Where I can see my friend's progress and they mine

Had Eve posted her desires on her Wall

On the apple, she would have made a different call 

Thank you for the little Facebook on my phone

Accessible In the park or while walking alone

Thank you for shielding me from any lurking danger   

As I update my status even while answering the call of nature

Before Facebook came along the way

In the old-fashioned way,  we did pray

But Facebook is  a miracle out of the blue    

Now, can you pay a little attention to its stock price too ?

The Week Gone By

Monday announces the birth of a new life 

With every touch and every smell tingling our senses

Full of hope and wonder and without strife

Excited about possibilities and no notion of pretenses

Tuesday is when some of the wonder turns to reason

As we make the toddler to kid progression   

Adapt we must with the changing season

For cuteness gives away soon to expectations

Wednesday finds us embodied as  a teenager

With rebellion in the air fueled by lots of beer

By the end of the day although we have a career

The million dollar questions is  'What in the world are we doing here ?' 

Thursday is adulthood with all its fuss

With  a family and kid and and a mortgage to add some spice 

And when we realize that half our life has passed us

It is time to play the Lotto and roll some dice  

Friday is when we want to break loose  

Wrapped with the sweet smell of retirement that is so near

It is time to twist to the tune of Footloose 

Or ride the speed boat without a fear.

Saturday commences the first breath of retirement

And  the first morning tea without an email

It feels great to be unshackled from time allotment

As we put on those boots, hit a trail and let the day unveil

With Sunday the end is near but not yet there  

And it is time to bid adieu with a sigh

This is an end we all share 

So do reflect on the week gone by 

Two Letters

Hi Dad,

It's been a great start to 2012 for me. I interviewed for a job as a marketing executive  and the hiring manager ended up being my ex-colleague. It goes without saying that I got the job! I am going to celebrate at this new swanky restaurant down the street. I enjoy some fine dinner and good wine at this place once every week. It's been raining all week and I love drifting back to my childhood with the sweet smell of rain.The rain, a hot cup of tea and a nice book to read- doesn't get better than that ! The stock market has been kind to me this year and I did short some pharmaceutical stocks chasing them down for a handsome profit ! Those suckers who buy at the top :-) Our city is getting a new auditorium and they raised the taxes a bit to fund that. I think it is totally worth it. Can't wait for it to be completed ! I couldn't imagine life without these pleasures.  Am planning to remodel my kitchen and with the high unemployment around, getting cheap labor just got cheaper :-) On my way back from my job interview, my car got rear ended by some driver who clearly should not have been on the road ! Thanks to my generous insurance, I am replacing the bumper which was in need of a change anyways :-)

  Want to share a great news with you... My offer  for a beautiful 3 bedroom house on B street, which was up for foreclosure, has been accepted. I need to sign off now since they are evicting the current owner who defaulted and I am going to witness that first hand ! 

…and somewhere else 

Hi Dad,

Life has been not so great in 2012. I eventually got called for a job as a marketing executive but someone else with connections with the hiring manager got the job. This is the seventh rejection since the beginning of this year :-( If that wasn't enough for me to deal with, on my way back from the interview, I got lost in my thoughts and I rear ended a car. I haven't paid my insurance premium for couple of months now so am going to have to take on more debt to pay for the claim. It's getting difficult to manage without a job especially since all the cheap eats in the neighborhood have now been replaced with expensive restaurants. It has been raining incessantly for the past few day and I can't bear the sound of raindrops anymore especially knowing that they are from the leaks in my roof. I guess I will just have to deal with it. My last hope was some  pharmaceutical stocks that I owned but my broker informed me that short sellers had driven the price low and he had to sell it at a loss. My city taxes have also gone up for some new auditorium…can you imagine …an auditorium!  Unemployment shows no sign of slowing down and getting a job is painfully hard and very low paying! 

  With a heavy heart, I have to let you know that, without a job, I could not stop the foreclosure on my beautiful 3 bedroom house on B street. Yes, I will have to part ways with it :-(  I will write more later since they're already at the door wanting to evict me from the house.

Pouring Out My Heart This Valentine's Day....

I remember the day I was introduced to you

When I was awed  by your radiance and promise
And that was my first taste of those three letters.

I remember when you engulfed me in your care

To give me the support to weather any storm
And I was intrigued by those three letters.

You were my trustworthy partner in my quest for a job 

And as you asked me to save some money for the rainy day

My intrigue turned to respect for those three letters.

You made sure I paid my dues on time 

To keep the demons from engulfing my little paradise
And you smiled and just reminded me about those three letters.

You were with me when we bought our first car 

A long relationship with you was to be born
And so inescapable were those three letters.

You make sure my house is bright and cosy 

And the food is always warm.
How then can I not do my part for those three letters ?

When I am down , I look at you

And I don't feel so down anymore
For we both are in the same boat, trying to preserve those three letters. 

When you smile, I can't help but smile

When you cry, I can't help but cry
But, even through my tears, I never lose sight of those three letters.

You can take on so much struggle
That mine seems like a drop in an ocean
What gives me strength are those three letters.

As you take on more debt to ensure my prosperity
You don't let it seep through your shield

All you ask me is never to undermine those three letters.

I depend on you for your unwavering support 

And I know that you do too 

For the thing that binds us are those three letters.

This Valentine's Day,

My wallet heart is all yours ... oh dear US Economy Priya  

And this is my contribution to these three letters... GDP I L U.

The Math of Occupy Wall Street

1. There are 200 students and 5 books . If 2 students get to keep all the books to themselves, what percentage of students can be educated?

2. There are 100 acres of land and 100 people fight for it. One of them wins the battle and takes control of  99 acres of the land. What percentage owns the majority land?

3. 100 people are sick and each needs one injection. In order to get well quicker, one of them tricks the doctor to give him 99 injections. What percentage has got all the injections?

4. A village of 1000 people is attacked by bandits. The 10 richest people in the village send the remaining 990 to the front lines to defend the village. What percentage of people are safe?

5. A company has 100 people and all the 100 are fired. 99 out of them can't pay their mortgage but one of them goes on vacation. What percentage of employees is not affected by the layoffs?

6. A senator is writing a bill in a closed room and 2000 people are waiting outside to give their inputs. Only two of the 2000 have the keys to the room. What percentage of people can influence the bill ?

7. It is Dec 21, 2012 and the world has come to an end. What percentage of dead people were found in underground survival bunkers thinking they could cheat death?

If you answered 1% to all the questions, you are brilliant and are now eligible to join the "Occupy Wall Street" movement !

Looking into the Crystal Ball for 2012

• The Arab countries try hard to get their old leaders to come back but there is just one problem ...some of them are dead !

• Indian politicians go on a hunger strike against Anna Hazare - Breakfast, lunch, dinner and tea-time are excluded from the hunger strike. 

• Occupy wall street" training camps and training kits are in huge demand. Internship programs are a hit with college students.

• Wall street tracks down the first sub-prime house owner who defaulted and sues him for billions of dollars. Congressional hearings are scheduled.

• After Sharad Pawar gets a slap on his face, Anna Hazare now wants a "LokGal" bill.

• Dinner time conversations are replaced with dinner time Facebook wall updates.

• Goldman Sachs issues 'Occupy Wall Street' bonds and gifts 5 free bonds to all the protesters. 'Occupy Wall Street' is over the next day.

• "Throwing darts on a chart" is  added to the list of effective military strategies for plotting the next  war.

• Paypal files a lawsuit against India claiming that "LokPal" infringes on their copyright.

• China agrees to solve the US debt crisis. US agrees to solve the EU debt crisis. EU claims there was never a debt crisis to begin with.

• Only 45 people on earth are not yet on Facebook because either Facebook has sued them or they are suing Facebook.

• Walmart is rechristened as "Wah-Smart" and they are welcomed with open arms in India. 

• A sex scandal is now a prerequisite  for future presidential candidates. Herman Cain cries foul play .

• Kim Jong Un accidentally uses the nuclear weapons controller as his XBOX controller and presses the red button.

You Know Me

If you drink coffee, I will make sure it spills on you. 

I am the reason your car has a flat tire. 

I'll ensure that everyone knows about that crucial meeting but you. 

Your empty email inbox from last night is overflowing and all fingers point to me.

I can resurface that nasty bug which you thought was fixed for ever.

I can make cold days colder and hot days hotter.


I'll make your 1-1 with your boss look more like a 0-1. You - 0 and your boss - 1.

I am the living proof that "If something can go wrong, it will".

I can tilt the needle on the weighing scale up and the needle on the fuel gauge down.

I'll remind you that after a bright shining day, darkness is just round the corner.   

I can find time for all the mundane meetings in the world.

You don't want to acknowledge that I exist.

You know me -  I am MONDAY, the first day of the week!

American Dream 2.0

If you had a dollar in the days of yore

You would spend only half that and not anymore

If your heart urged you to buy a house in town

You would check with your wallet to put money down

If you had a mortgage, you would pay

From other loans and debt, you would stay away

Life was simple and in control

To live within your means was the only goal

Then someone said why not spend more than what you own
The way to do it was called "easy loan"

Why not buy a house that you couldn't afford
Well even the financial gurus were on board

The banks stuffed loans down your throat
"Its good for the economy" they wrote

They shouted "Spend,Spend,Spend!"
Oh boy, were they eager to lend

Everyone wanted to get a lawn green and lush
To buy a house, there was a mad rush

The banks said "Buy, Buy, Buy"
This was not a time to be shy

If your credit score was having a bad time
There was a loan they called "subprime"

And they signed on the dotted line
Not knowing that it was a noose by design

The wind caught my nose too.
And before I knew it, I did chew.

Bought a cute house with a twinkle in my eyes
Never did I think it was unwise

The prices seemed like a one-way street
To see my house price go up everyday was a real treat

This is The American Dream , I said
Never thinking about what was still unsaid

One day, someone realized the subprimes are never going to pay
For new loans, they started getting turned away

Everything suddenly stopped in its tracks
The house prices seemed to have reached its max

Like a roller coaster ride which pauses at the top
Everyone was getting ready for the big drop

There is a reason they call it a dream
For very soon it runs out of steam

The big real estate party was over
Enough of the high and it was time to be sober

While the subprimes stopped paying their mortgage
Deals were being made by the banks backstage

Like a rock falling off a cliff the prices dropped
The same gurus announced " The bubble has popped"

Some houses started getting foreclosed
And short sale was how the others were disposed

We decided to sell ours too
To the house we needed to bid adieu

For a year the bank put me through the x-ray
To see if I could pay or not pay

Finally they agreed to a short sale deal
To me that had a lot of appeal

"We forgive what you owe us" said the bank
To this great American system, I had to thank

For me to sell the house was a real feat
For the buyer the deal was really sweet.

From a house owner to a renter here we go
That's the new American Dream - American Dream 2.0

iSmile

Why the Apocalypse never happened

An apocalypse committee was setup in after-life to ensure the RED button was pressed on May 21st at the precise moment. As part of preparation for receiving millions of people, the committee solicited questions from us humans. This is a sampling of questions received by the committee:-

• Can I get an iPad there ?
• Is it left-hand driving or right-hand?
• Can I transfer my club sport membership or is it mainly 24 hour Fitness ?
• Can I get a 25 grain bread with a butter top ?
• Is it a startup friendly environment ?
• Do they accept traveler's checks ?
• What do they use instead of Facebook ?
• Where do I post my resume ?
• Do we need to file taxes ?
• Is it mainly Mac or PCs ?
• Can I carry my allergy medicines ?
• Can I watch the Oprah shows ?
• What charities can I contribute to (to get tax exemptions) ?
• Can I transfer my Groupon deals ?
• Do I need mosquito repellents ?
• Is my insurance going to be still valid ?
• What are the rates for a 30-year mortgage?
• Can I get non-lactose milk ?
• Can I buy Facebook stock there ?
• Do they have HBO ?
• Do they have counselling services ?
• Who plays in the world series ?
• Can I continue my Atkins diet ?
• Hope they have a Starbucks ?
• Can I transfer my AT&T service and can I now get unlimited data plans at least?
• Can I continue to get unemployment benefits?
• Do they have private schools ? Where can I get the school API ratings?
• (From the White House) When is the next presidential election and who is running ?

Reading the list of questions, half of the committee was dumbstruck and the other half fell off their seats rolling with laughter. In the midst of all this, the deadline to press the 'RED' button passed and so the apocalypse never happened.

Now that Osama is dead ...

• Our housing market will make a miracle recovery and the dip will be like a bad dream.
• The spill in the gulf will get cleaned automatically.
• The devastation in Japan will be reversed.
• Gadaffi will peacefully agree to stop the war in Libya.
• The unemployment rate will drop by a couple of points.
• Goldman Sachs will turn into a non-profit organization.
• The defunct color coded security alerts will be replaced with three popular ringtones.
• Obama's long form birth certificate will be converted into a stamp.
• The obesity endemic will get curbed.
• Our schools will finally realize that sacking teachers is a dumb idea.
• Our medical system will be rated the best in the world and insurance will wind down their medical division.
• China agrees to write off our debts and our deficit becomes a surplus overnight.
• All lobbying by special interests will grind to a halt.
• We will all get special gas refunds from the oil companies (need to prove mileage though).
• Malaria will not kill children anymore.
• We all get special OBL tax credits from the IRS next year.
• Global warming will get a few degrees cooler.
• Obama will challenge Donald Trump to prove that his hair is for real.

A trip to the bookstore

As I was driving to the Borders bookstore today hoping to notice a book that piqued my attention, my thought was drawn to the lack of love of reading among the general population. Amidst various distractions (one of which ironically ends with the word 'Book') and the 140 character message era, it is no surprise that books are not something everyone finds comfort in. It is appalling to see headlines like 'Where is Bahrain?' and folks straining their brains to understand the US Electoral College. These can be attributed to the general disinterest in reading for pleasure. Statistics reveals that Americans spend two hours daily watching television and seven minutes reading!

With these thoughts, I finally reached Borders and entered the store half expecting a lazy afternoon with a few geeks in the engineering section and some mommies with their kiddos in the children section. My first thought when I entered the store was 'I must be in the wrong place'. Instead of a quiet bookstore, it more resembled a 'Black Friday' Walmart. It seemed the whole town had descended there. The kids section resembled more of a birthday party than a book store. People were going from aisle to aisle with a look of purpose and stacks of books in their hands. I could hear conversations like "Jack, how about this book ? I don't think you have this one".  or "You'll need this a year from now. Why don't you buy it ?". What ? Was I dreaming ?


Every parent seemed eager to get their children a book to read. The serpentine lines at the register intertwined with each other with folks balancing their books with their kids and it seemed that they were ready to let their kids loose but nothing would part them from their books!

Something had changed since I last time I pondered on our reading culture ...which was exactly 15 minutes ago ! I was very excited about what was happening - so excited that I didn't want to ask anyone the reason for fear of getting a 'Duh' moment. But ask I did ! The lady whom I checked with seemed amused at my question and she quietly pointed me to a big orange and yellow signs up in the ceiling ' STORE CLOSING SALE - EVERYTHING MUST GO - 20-40% off ' . I felt like a balloon which had just been pricked !.

Does it mean that to get people to read more, they would have to close more book stores? However,  if they close the book stores, they wouldn't have books to read - not sure how this paradox would be resolved.

The 10-day Software Engineer Revolution

Joe "The Software Engineer" was watching a revolution unfold  on TV. President Mubarak finally agreed to resign after 30 years of fun...err...power. 
Joe decided it was time for software engineers to put their foot down too and cause a revolution.

"Code Monkeys", "Commodity skills", "Grunt Work" - He had heard enough of those terms and it was time to show the powers that be as to who called the shots. 

Within the next 24 hours, a "Software Revolution" group had been organized on Facebook and software engineers from all around the globe joined him in support. "Very exciting", he thought.

Their plan - To stop coding till they were given their due respect. They were the rock stars and wanted to be treated like one. They needed celebrity status, VIP seating in meetings and unbridled access to all "classified" company information. Of course, better monitors, better offices and an ability to work on what they want and when they wanted would be nice too.

Day 1
All software companies grind to a halt. Rows and rows of blinking monitors await their masters to fill them up with data and tables and code. Keyboards await their first click of the day. All software engineers gather outside their offices and in the laws of their sprawling complexes and start chattering excitedly.

Day 2
Customer escalations are up. Customer support managers cannot handle the incoming calls and some executives field customer calls to make them happy. They have never worked so hard before. Phew! When they reach home, the only thing they can do is find the nearest bed and sleep as if there is no tomorrow.

Day 3
Some enterprising executives roll up their sleeves and decide to get dirty with some code. They fix some easy fixes and check-in the code. Their triumph is short lived when the VP of QA declares that all their automated tests are failing. What ? How ? Impossible ! . The software engineers in the meanwhile are still lazing around and gloating at their desperate executives.

Day 4

Executives dread going to real work. They never felt this way before! Meanwhile, software engineers start experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Their conversations now see trickle of words like "null pointer exception", "caching" and "hash table". They quickly check themselves and think about the revolution. "Discipline is key", they remind themselves.

Day 5

The executives join the managers to fix bugs but their sleek Macbook Air's are not loaded with all the tools needed by the engineers. They will have to trade for a heavy Dell. They quickly abort their attempts and justify it by saying something like "benefit" v/s "cost" trade-off. 

Day 6
Software engineers now find themselves talking to each other more about bugs and less about the revolution. Their withdrawal symptoms are taking a toll on them. "Only if they could write some code" , some start thinking.

Day 7
One of the companies has an idea. "Software engineers love their code", they think. So, the company starts scrolling customer bugs and lines of code across giant screens in their offices and campuses. They are overwhelmed by the sight of their very own "for loops" and "if conditions" displayed on giant screens. Their code never looked so beautiful! Some of the customer bugs are so easy that they want to rush to their desks and fix it immediately! 

Day 8
The executives realize that the trick is working. They setup more giant screens and display even more code. Some engineers can't take it anymore. They rush to their cubes and start fixing the bugs. Coding has never been so exciting!

Day 9
A mass exodus of software engineers from the revolution camp. More and more engineers are back at work.

Day 10
Everyone is back to work and back in their cubicles. Looking at those endless lines of bright code against the dark screen brings tears to their eyes. They wouldn't miss it for any revolution. 

(Meanwhile, seen in conference rooms across the world - Managers and executives are popping champagne bottles and toasting to yet another management success ... a crushed revolution. A dart-ridden picture of Joe hangs on the walls.) 

It started in Tunisia

The ruler ruled in Tunisia on a bed of roses
While the people lived on the thorns of empty promises.

The roses spread its fragrance inside the palace gates
While the people sang that the prick of the thorns is their fate

But one day the fragrance leaked outside the palace
And the people knew it was not another thorn

They liked it and wanted more of it
But those inside the palace threw a fit

The ruler ordered more thorns  through their forces
While the people  crowded the palace for more roses

The ruler now  knows his bed has some thorns
And the feeling  that you cannot have one without the other is now born

The winds blew some thorns to Egypt  too
And the happenings there seems like deja vu

Every ruler sleeping on a bed of roses is now awake
Wondering if a hasty exit they should make

But they forget that every bed they sleep on
Will now only have thorns with all the roses gone.

Tough questions for Santa

Santa : Children, aren't you all excited about Christmas ? It is so beautiful outside with all the lights and the decorations? Do you have any questions for me?

Jen: Santa,how do you get all the gifts for the children ?
Santa: That's my special gift Jen. My love allows me to acquire all the gifts for the children.
Jen : That's not what I meant. What flight do you catch to China to get all the toys?
Santa: Next question please.

Ted: Santa, how about the poor child in Africa who just lost his parents in an ethnic war. How will you console him?
Santa: I will tell him that Christmas is a season for forgiving and hope he overcomes his sorrow.
Ted: Can you be more specific ?
Santa: Next question please.

Danny: Santa, my friends parents just lost their jobs. What can you do for them this year?
Santa: I will specially deliver the gifts to them wherever they are.
Danny: Actually, they lost their house too.
Santa: Next question please.

Julie: Santa, my friend is in Pakistan and he said there was a huge bomb blast today.
Santa: That is very sad. I will pray for their souls.
Julie: Will you be delivering toys in Pakistan this year ?
Santa: Next question please.

Rob : Santa, were you created by Coca-Cola ?
Santa : Al right, that's all for today, Merry Christmas ..Yo Yo Yo!!!!

In equilibrium with your desires

Socrates once said "If you want knowledge as much as you want air to breathe, you will get knowledge". It is easy to be glib about this and carry on with our lives. However, if you pause for a second and let this thought be alive in you, let it consume you completely, it will reveal incidents in your life when this was true. Essentially, it means that you can achieve anything you desire if you have a proportionate amount of desire to achieve it. Is achieving anything in this world worth it is questionable but it is a discussion for a different post.This is a post for all us deeply conditioned human beings who have aspirations and desires and we spend our lives chasing those.


Why do we fail in many of our desires? Is it bad luck? Is it wrong timing ? Is it competence? It could be a combination of all the three and a multitude of other reasons. However, I believe the underpinnings of all of these factors is usually the intensity of the desire to achieve it. Each of us would like to achieve that dream position or that dream house. However, we often laugh the thought away since we treat it just as a dream. The number of conceivable challenges are so insurmountable that they don't seem worth fighting against. However, what is happening under the covers is that although you have the desire for that object, the intensity of the desire is not enough to overcome those challenges. It is like a seesaw with the obstacles on one end and your desire on the other. The seesaw itself represents the odds of you achieving that desire. If your desire is not strong enough, you cannot tilt the seesaw in your favor. Let's say that you want to quit your job and start your own venture. As soon as the thought comes in, your brain immediately fills you with why it is not possible and what the obstacles are to taking that step. You do have the desire. However, is it passionate enough? Do you think about it day in and day out? Is your desire deep enough to take you out of your comfort zone?  Are you ready to go out on a limb to achieve this desire ?  If you are passionate about it thus leading to a very intense desire, it will subdue the thoughts of failure and provide the necessary impetus for action. This differentiates entrepreneurs versus those you only engage in the thought of entrepreneurship. This is also precisely the reason why if given four weeks to complete a difficult project, our productivity dramatically increases in the days leading up to the deadline. Our desire to have it completed meets or exceeds the complexities of the project causing us to leap into action. All the rags-to-riches story that we like to so often talk about also exhibit this same pattern.


 So, what causes the desire to be intense in some and not so intense in the other? Is that something in our control? Can we manipulate the intensity of desire? I believe that we do not have any control on it. All of us are intense about certain things but not about others. The distribution of this intensity is so cunningly orchestrated  that life on earth is made possible. Imagine if everyone could increase their desire enough to take the step to start a new venture. That would leave no one to work for the venture which is definitely not a sustainable model :-) "What about competence?", you may ask. Competence is something which will come with the right amount of desire. Not all factory workers will rise through the ranks and enter the C-suite. However, a few, without any volition, will have that deep desire  to achieve that position and they will automatically develop the necessary competence to climb up the corporate ladder. In retrospect, it may seem that competence was the driving factor but I believe it is the other way around. A portion of the other workers will want to climb up the ranks but the law of distribution of desire will make sure that their desires are not intense enough and so they'll continue doing what they are doing  and the other portion of workers will have no desire at all and they'll be happy with their jobs.


To sum it up, when you question why you are where you are in life, check the level of desire that you have to be anything else. You will find that you are exactly in equilibrium with the intensity of your desires.

Is it the brain or the body ?

The cookies in the break room looked very tempting the first time I saw them.The next time I was there to collect some markers, they looked irresistible. Finally, when I happened to walk by the break room the next time, some unseen force dragged me towards the cookies and unwittingly, I picked up a cookie and then another! The sugar surge was instant and as you can imagine, it wasn't too long before I had "cookie remorse". Sounds familiar? We all struggle with this from time to time and it seems to be a losing battle sometimes. Why did I succumb to the temptation ? How can I avoid it next time ? Do I need to avoid it? Looking around, I see others struggle with the same issue. Building up will power and sustaining it for a while only to miserably fail eventually. Why does this happen ? What is missing?

We live our life within a set of guard rails but sometimes the rules and policies guiding our actions are so complex that its execution fails under its own weight. The rules need to be very simple to be executable. Keeping with this thought, I told myself that there needs to be a rule of thumb for cookies too :-) After some trial and error, I have one which has served me well so far and may do so for the reader too. The trick is this - Just ask yourself "Is your body demanding it or is your brain demanding it?" If it is the body, go ahead and fulfill the demand. If it is just your brain, then just ignore it unless you consciously want to indulge. So, when I walk into office in the morning, I still see those wonderful bagels and the yummy spreads. However, when I pose the magic question, it is clear that my body does not need it. It is just my silly brain. That very thought withers away any craving that I might have had. No more complicated logic to follow to take a decision. "What about indulgences then?", you may ask. Our taste buds were developed to enjoy anything and everything sweet and delicious and to abandon them totally would be a pity. So, my rule of thumb for indulgences is "Indulge only if someone offers it to you". i.e. I need not pickup the cookie lying in the break room but it is all right to take a cookie if someone offers it to me. Between our workplace and our social commitments, we are offered enough indulgences that we never need to bother about long cravings.

Try it out.This one could be a keeper.

Oakley and Chile

• 33 miners in Chile get trapped.
• They are found to be alive .
•  Rescue operations get underway.
•  There is a huge media buzz.
• Companies get together to help them.
• Some try to figure out a way to capitalize on this huge media event.
• The marketing guy in Oakley figures it out.
• Oakley donates 33 sunglasses which usually run for $200 each . Total cost = $6600.
• Each miner wears these glasses when they emerge.
• Millions of viewers look at the miners (and at the Oakley glasses)
• Reaching out to so many viewers would have otherwise cost Oakley around $40 million dollars .
• Oakley saves $39,993,400 in advertising cost...and they get to help along the way.
• Go Oakley !

Walking the maze of joy

What gives me joy ? Is it the achievement of a desire ? The avoidance of trouble ? Maybe both. Why does the achievement of a desire give me joy? Is it because it has some intrinsic value or is it because it implies an advantage that life has bestowed on me ? So, is it really the failure of others to achieve that desire that gives me joy ? What if everyone can achieve that desire  easily? Does it still give me joy or does it wither away ? If it withers away, what do I try to do ? Do I try to think of someone who hasn't achieved that desire. Does that restore joy ? For instance,do I feel the joy of driving? Maybe a bit but not a whole lot . Why not a whole lot ? Is it because there are a lot of people who drive cars ? Then what do I do ? Do I think of the people living in the slums in some countries. Does that restore the joy of driving ?  So, is my joy really the sadistic joy of knowing the existence of those who do not have enough to eat, let alone own a car ? So, is my joy relative ? Does it depend on the existence of many who are unfortunate ? What if everyone is fortunate ? Will my joy still exist ? Maybe some of them . What defines those kinds of joy ? Do some joys not follow the conservation of energy ? Are there some joys that  gets created and multiplied or do they always transfer from one person to another ?  Like the joy of reading a book. What gives me the joy of reading the book ? Would I get the same joy if every person in the world can read that book ?   What about enjoying  movie ? Will I get the same joy if everyone can enjoy that movie ?  So, there is some joy which does not rely on someone's failures. Should I be looking forward to only these kinds of joys or should I enjoy all kinds of joys even the ones with a dark side? Does burying the dark side of some joys itself  give me a joy?